Wednesday, January 12

Piranha 3-D

Piranha 3D came out in theaters this summer, but on Blu-Ray and DVD today. I hadn't seen it, it is a remake. There is plenty of jump out of your face gimmicks that when not in theaters in 3D, it just looks ridiculous on regular TV. The plot to the movie is basically like a Syfy Channel Saturday movie. Prehistoric piranhas ruin Spring Break for porn director (Jerry O'Connell), a young teenager Jake (Vampire Diaries' Steven R McQueen), and his sheriff mother (Elizabeth Shue comeback). Elizabeth Shue should have done something better. While the movie started out like a SyFy movie but when the Piranhas come in and eat everyone up, it amps up, with really great graphics and extreme gore.

Buckets of blood were used in this movie. There are some good deaths, but unfortunately most of them are women. I like it when it is a decent ratio, when men get real good on-screen deaths, but most of theirs are off-screen. Nude women get the majority of the big deaths. Jerry O' Connell's character is just a big jerk like in all these horror movies and his bottom half is eaten out. His character's severed penis are all flung out of the screen. Adam Scott (Party Down and Parks and Recreation) gets a small part as a dude who helps the Sherriff but acts like an action star, swinging unto a speed boat and jumping into another boat. There is a cameo by Richard Dyrfus from Jaws fame in the beginning of the movie and a memorable cameo by Christopher Lloyd, which is just hilarious. Also in two instances where men go to women for help, they call them bitches or whores and then are then eaten.

The freights are what to be expected, just to startle you and the gore is just gore-a-licious. Some good moments. The movie is not horrible, it is really what you would expect out of these movies and even though the script isn't self-aware, the actors sure are, they take it lightly as they should. Jessica Szhor (Gossip Girl, above) is vibrant in her role as Jake's love interest. As for shirtless guys, we got Jerry O' Connell, Steven R McQueen, Adam Scott and other Spring Breakers. As for nude women, plenty of them, but not Jessica, sorry dudes. Oh yeah, and even though there are children in the movie, it doesn't mean the movie is for children, way too traumatizing even for the toughest kid. And the ending was ruined by a trailer, but pretty much leaves it open to a sequel. The Blu-Ray comes with deleted storyboards, deleted scenes and director's commentary. The commentary is interesting because the director is Alexandre Aja and French and his voice is very soothing.